Lately I have been consumed by many thoughts.

I'm at somewhat of a crossroads. My long "term" of service with the youth has come to an end. I'm moving to a city that I never would've imagined myself choosing to live in. I'm taking up a course that I always said was not for me. I'm changing my lifestyle and removing a lot of the comfort and convenience. Times are a'changin' and at this point I'm equally nervous as I am excited.

However, these are not the thoughts that have been making a monopoly of my brain time. When I think of all the change that 2009 will bring, I KNOW that the end result will be a future full of hope and beauty and prosperity and joy and success. I KNOW the plans He has for my welfare are immaculate. That is why, somewhat to my demise, it has never been in my nature to worry about me. And still now, I thought that I Want it All 2009 was going to be the perfect theme for me...my year to really focus on me and my future...to be a little selfish if you will... But after proclaiming "I WANT IT ALL 2009!" enough times, I realized there was something missing in my voice...my joy.

You see, my joy doesn't come from knowing that His divine providence for me is simply a promise waiting to be fulfilled as my life continues on. And my joy doesn't even come from knowing that as I'm getting older, I'm getting even closer to the really good part. My joy is found in your joy...from witnessing yours, sharing in yours, experiencing yours with you. I've had horrible sleeping patterns lately and I spend my sleep deprivation pondering your futures and praying for all the people I know and love...even those that I don't.

I Want it All is true for me...but even more so, I WANT IT ALL FOR YOU. I dream of every happiness for you. I hope for your every desire to be fulfilled. I pray for your every struggle to result in knowledge and wisdom. I wish for your pain to transform into strength and courage. I want every blessing for all of you. I want that so bad. I know that providing all of this stuff for you is way beyond me, but sometimes I just really wish I had some kind of miraculous in with God, so I could give Him a list of people that I want to be ultra blessed. Almost like submitting to Him my guest-list for the Righteous Living and Abundant Blessings Club and the VIP section that would open later is Heaven. Am I making sense? Basically I love you all more than my heart has the capacity to ....most of the time it's bursting out of me and I don't know what to do with myself except lie awake and pray myself to tears because I am so overcome with the love that you own in my heart.

I keep thinking...Wow Lord, I truly believe You when You tell me to expect 2009 to be a year full of beauty for me. But can You please hook up all my loved ones too? PLEEEEEASE. LORD PLEEEASE. 

I'm sure His plans for you are just as great, if not greater, than the plans He has for me. But I suppose I just want you to be as sure of it for yourselves, as I am for you. As if I want you to Want it All 2009 with me! ...because we can have it all. He says so! ...as long as we do our part.

I still feel like I'm not properly expressing myself but these words are all I have to attempt it...

Anyway, with all of that, I've done some re-thinking in terms of 2009 themes.
I Want it All 2009
"...It's not just about wanting a specific person. It's not to a specific person. This song is to God, to the energy of love to come and bless my life. Thats why I love this song so much, because every time I sing it, it is my affirmation..because I am ready for love..."