Monday, 13 October 2008

• Okay Lord.

  I'm sitting in a noisy cafeteria at SF state. The sound of my breathing is completely drowned out by the ringing of voices, clanging of utensils, and shifting of chairs. Orders are being placed and taken, laughs are being exchanged, stories are being shared. A few minutes ago I could barely ponder a thought in my head amidst the jumble of sounds. So I put my earphones in, selected a track,
  
  
  
  ...and suddenly no one exists here but me and my God.
  
  I close my eyes and I can see. I can see Him so clearly, sitting right before me...and He's smiling. It's one of those tight-lipped smiles that is filled with much anticipation before a good laugh. He's waiting for me to crack up with Him at my circumstance. He's just waiting. He knows me so well. He's expecting for me to childishly whine and question and complain...and then He'll make fun of me for being so....me. Because He knows, that I know so much better....And after the teasing and giggling, He'll remind me of how loved I am.
  
  my calm and peaceful response..."Okay Lord...Okay."
  
  That's where I am.
  
  I don't get everything I want. Things don't always happen the way I pray for them to. My feelings get hurt. I have a hard time when it comes to certain matters. I get disappointed. Life is happening and maybe it isn't always happening in my favor but IT'S HAPPENING! That in itself is enough of a blessing to sustain my joy for all of my life. And when it feels as if life isn't happening in my favor, I find peace in knowing that God is always in my favor.
  
  Okay Lord. Come what may, I will give you all my praise. Every smile, every frown, every tear of joy and pain, every shout of frustration and gut-busting laugh is an expression of praise that is for no one else but You. In every emotion I acknowledge not only Your presence, but Your power, the little portion of power that You allocated to reign over my life...past, present and future. I give You all my praise for intentionally choosing to use a piece of Your majestic might to specifically plan my entire existence. The power You used to create the universe is the very same power You used to create me. It is the exact same power You have been using to mold me for the past 25 years...and counting.
  
  My entire being is rooted in the same divinity that created the heavens and the earth. All the whining, complaining, and questioning is a great therapeutic release, that He so graciously chooses to humor me with, but when all is said and done, I could not have asked for my life to be anything more or less than it is.
  
  Okay Lord. Okay. Keep it coming.
  I will lovingly accept everything that befalls me.
  As long as You are with me, I am ready.
  
  
  

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